Shattered
by GreenCondor1
Summary: After the marriage of King Zachary to Estora, Karigan keeps to herself to save her the pain of falling in love again. But what happens when she realizes that her heart will always belong to him and that she can't move on?  Post-BV fanfic -Chap. 4 Edited-
1. Chapter 1

**This is a post-Blackveil fanfiction, so umm... just in case you haven't read the book... yeah, you get my point.**

**Oh, and before I forget**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Green Rider characters, nor do I own certain plots, settings, etc. The ideas are mine, and they are based on the actual books, but yeah, they're what I think might happen :) Call them my predictions :)**

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Chapter 1

She opened her eyes, and blinked in the sunlight above her. Squinting her eyes, she turned her head to the side, trying to make out her surroundings. Where was she? There had been a box around her, something made of stone. But it didn't make sense. There were mirror fragments surrounding her, not stone fragments. Maybe she was in the realm of the gods, but no, she still felt that excruciating pain. Sighing, she closed her eyes, letting the green grasses around her turn into waves of darkness.

Opening her eyes, choking on a scream, she gasped for air. Rubbing her head with her uninjured hand, she swung her legs over the side of her small bed, standing up on shaky legs. She moved the flap of the tent aside, and stepped out into the rain. She clung to solid objects nearby, frowning at her instability. It had been almost two weeks since the Riders at the wall had found her lying unconscious in the grasses near the breach, and since then, Leese hadn't let her out of her sight, except at night. The mender wouldn't let her rise from her bed even after she had insisted that she had felt fine. But now, she was sure that she would go insane if she didn't see Condor and escape the wall soon. It was too near Blackveil, and she was afraid that if she stayed for too long, she would only get drawn back into the nightmare. Word had been sent to the castle that she had turned up alive, but still she dreaded her arrival. But she would have to go soon. And she would have to go now.

Karigan, finally feeling steady on her feet, walked towards Condor with ease. His head shot up at her presence and he trotted towards her, letting her wrap her arms around his neck. Smiling softly, Karigan sighed against him, whispering words to him. She felt as if a weight from her heart had been lifted.

A hand on her shoulder startled her. Karigan turned around, prayiBng that it wasn't the mender, but she turned to face Alton and Estral. Sadness and anger flooded through her as she remembered that her friend had lost her voice, and she had a good idea about who had taken it from her. Since she had come back, her anger at them had disappeared, and she had apologized for her behavior before she left.

"I hope that you're not leaving." Alton spoke. Karigan nodded. She had already told the two that she would be leaving soon, and they had understood why. Alton sighed, shaking his head. " I'll go fetch your things."

He walked away, leaving Karigan and Estral alone. Karigan strode over to her long-time friend, giving her a quick hug.

"Estral, I think that I know who did this to you. I promise you that I will find some way to help you regain your voice." Estral nodded, smiling too. Squeezing Karigan's hand, she helped Alton ready Condor for the ride.

"Just don't tell Leese, Alton, okay?" Karigan smiled, saying good-bye to him as well. He nodded, and stepped back as Karigan mounted. With a final wave, Karigan whispered a few words to Condor and rode off into the night.

* * *

She could sense his restraint when she had entered the throne room. She had felt like a knife had twisted in her heart when her gaze fell upon Estora, no, _Queen_ Estora. She had felt her hand tremble as she approached the pair and she had mentally berated herself for being so weak in front of them. For a moment, she had thought that it might have been better if she had died in Blackveil, but she had pushed that thought aside. They had inquired to her well being, but she had the feeling that much had been left unsaid. If it had been hard for her to talk to both of them before the marriage, it was even harder for her to talk to them now. When she had stood in front of them, she had felt like she was going to crumble at any moment. Still, she had endured and had shown no signs of her pain and sorrow.

Since then, she had buried herself in her paperwork, and practically begged Captain Mapstone for long distance errands. But the Captain wouldn't allow her to go for too many errands, especially long-distance ones. She needed to leave the stone walls to escape the pain of losing Yates as well as the marriage of King Zachary. She had rarely seen Lynx around though she knew him to be in the castle. He was still grieving, she knew, and he found solace in solitude. She found hers in that as well as her paperwork and Condor. They all helped her to forget about her problems and her pain, but she needed to escape from the castle.

And she had another idea about why she wasn't allowed to go on many errands, including the simplest of errands: King Zachary. She had seen something in his eyes when his mask had slipped that day she had stood before her monarchs. For a second, she could see his concern, his pain, and his sorrow, but then the moment had passed. Anger flooded through her as she thought of this. He was married to her… her _former_ friend, and he still harbored feelings for her? But then again, she still had feelings for him even if he was married, and her anger flooded away.

"Karigan?" A melodious voice called, but to her, it was anything but melodious. Forcing herself to smile, Karigan stood from her chair and bowed to Estora.

"Your highness, how may I be of assistance?"

Estora stepped in the door, and the Weapons respectfully posted themselves outside the door as she closed it. Estora turned back to Karigan, a sympathetic look on her face.

"I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry that it had to happen like this." She said softly. When she saw Karigan's confused expression, she specified. "The marriage."

"I don't know what you mean, your highness." She laughed softly at Karigan's stricken expression.

"You know perfectly well what I mean. Did you think that I wouldn't find out someday? You know that I once loved a Green Rider, so I understand you."

"Forgive me for saying this majesty, but you don't understand a thing about me. "

"I suppose that you're right, but I still know the pain. I'm sorry for what I put you through. With my father gone, and my family back to Coutre province, and you as distant as ever, it feels like he is the only one that I have left."

"If you will forgive me, I have work to finish. Is there anything else that I can assist you with?"

"I'm sorry for everything, including sending the forester after you. I had no idea of his intentions. It was my cousin who had wanted to send him. I'm sorry for everything, including growing to love King Zachary."She said softly. With that, she left the room leaving Karigan stunned. Karigan sank back into her chair, holding her head in her hands. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Sighing, she rose from her chair, grabbing her coat.

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**So, how was it? I think I could have done better, but I'll settle with this for now. Anyways, I think that I will be continuing this. I don't know... I will have to see where this goes. :) Well, I hope you liked it! Please review and tell me if this story is worth continuing!**

**GreenCondor1**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I decided to continue :) So, here it is:**

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Climbing up the ladder to the hayloft after a long ride, memories of that night so long ago, when she had thought Alton was dead, flooded back to her. King Zachary had come after her to comfort _her_, Karigan G'ladheon, not just any rider. She remembered Lil's words, but now, even he wasn't here to lend her comfort. She was on her own.

Thoughts of dying in Blackveil came back to her, but she dismissed them once again. Too many good people had been lost there, with the exception of Ard, who she didn't forgive for trying to kill her. Out of the six Sacoridians that had entered Blackveil, only she and Lynx had returned. It would be just another burden on Lynx, who had still not gotten over the death of Yates.

_Yates_, she thought sadly. She felt a pang of guilt, and she closed her eyes, curling up on the hay-covered floor. If she hadn't broken the tumbler's mask, would he be dead? Lynx had told her quietly that Yates didn't blame her but she couldn't help but blame herself. She thought of all the good times that they had and how he would have wanted her to be happy, but he was like family to her. All the Riders were. With each Rider lost, she felt like a part of her was lost too.

And then, there was King Zachary. She tried so hard to forget about him, but his words when she left to the wall replayed in her head.

_"Do whatever you must, Karigan, to come back. You must come back. To me." *_ She bit her lip, trying to stem the flow of pain. Why did he want her to come back to him if he was going to be married to the lady who used to be her friend? She felt numb as she remembered Estora's words. She was in love with him. What if… what if he fell in love with Estora? She was beautiful, and she… she was not. She could never be as good as Estora.

_All is as it should be then_, Karigan thought stubbornly. Closing her eyes, she drifted into a haunted sleep, filled with memories of Blackveil and King Zachary.

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He had seen the hurt in her eyes as she stood before them, and he barely restrained himself from rushing to her side and holding her to him. He had realized over and over again how close he had come to losing her. Each time Karigan went on an errand, he came closer and closer to losing her. He had hurt her, and he hated himself for it.

Maybe if he had never told Karigan of his feelings, she wouldn't hurt. He wanted nothing more than to rip up the marriage contract and send Estora away from Sacor City back to Coutre province, but he could sense a change in her, something that hadn't been there before. He had come to one conclusion: she had fallen in love with him. He didn't love her, but he didn't want to hurt her. She had already endured a great deal of loss and betrayal, and he would not add to that.

Yet another reason he could not push her aside was the political unrest. He had no doubt that the people wouldn't care. His mind wandered back to Amilton's coup. The people did not care that there was a new king on the throne. He supposed that if he were to set Estora aside, the people wouldn't care. No, it was the nobles. The rich and greedy nobles, maybe with the exception of Penburn and possibly D'Ivary, were the ones who would create a civil war if he were to do this.

He had sacrificed so much for country, but why couldn't he have just this one thing? He had resolved to do what was best for his country at the time Karigan was knighted, but his heart was clouding his decision. Every time he looked at Estora, he felt a sense of loss, and he knew that there was only one way that he could get out of the marriage contract. Estora had to be unwilling to go on with this any longer.

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He set out at an easy pace towards the stables. It was a good night for a ride, and he needed to clear his mind. He had often noticed Karigan riding during her free time, and with that thought, he stepped into the stables, searching for his horse. He was about to grab his reins when he felt a slight tugging on his shortcoat. Turning around, he saw Karigan's horse.

"What?" The horse started to tug him towards the ladder to the hayloft. Giving in, he walked towards the ladder, climbing it. It reminded him of a night long ago, when he had comforted Karigan. He had told her that Alton was believed to be dead, and he had come in search of her. He stopped three-fourths of the way, gazing into the darkness, puzzled. There was nothing there. But as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could make out a shape. Fastion passed him a lantern and he shone it towards the corner. His eyes widened in surprise as he realized who was in the corner.

Karigan.

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*From Blackveil by Kristen Britain (pg. 283)

**Okay, so I know that its short, but I guess that I wanted to end this chapter in a cliff hanger :) Don't worry, I'll update ASAP. I'm excited with this story and though I still don't know where it is headed, I hope that you like it :)**

**[Please review :) They make my day :)]**

**GreenCondor1 **


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, so my idea of soon turned out to be a couple of days or something... I guess that is soon for me, who used to update weeks later, but anyways, enough of my little notes.**

**Enjoy!**

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Draping his longcoat over her shoulders, he leaned back. She looked peaceful in her sleep, but he had a feeling that it was anything but peaceful. After reading her report, he wasn't surprised that she would have nightmares. Blackveil was a dangerous and terrifying place, and with Mornhavon's reappearance, there was even more danger. She had never wanted any of this, he knew, as he remembered her refusal to become a Green Rider that night on the balcony at the ball that he had commanded her to attend. She had just wanted to go home. But then, she was drawn into the whole plan of reclaiming the throne. He gazed at her once again, concerned.

Then, she was drawn into the delegation to find Eletia. Many had died there, and many were injured, including Karigan. She could have died as well from the power of the wards erupting, but thank the gods she didn't. When she told him that an Eletian had taken her beneath the tomb, he had felt even more afraid for her. When he had hurt her during his arms practice, when she had told him of her traveling and her meeting with Prince Jamateri, when she had returned from the tombs, a haunted look in her eyes… these events only fueled his fear and concern for her. He couldn't lose her, not now, not ever.

When Lynx had told him that she was missing or… _dead_, he felt his world around him crumble. He felt guilty for, what seemed to him, his betrayal by marrying Estora. He had been weak and injured when they were married, but he could have invalidated the marriage after passing judgment on the conspirators. But instead, he considered the political aspect of the situation, and he knew that the Lord Governors would make a great deal over it. He went along with a story instead of the truth, and it was a decision he regretted. What made him feel even worse was that Karigan was in Blackveil that whole time, her fate unknown to him, and she didn't know anything about the marriage.

But now, she was safe, and though he had drifted even further away from her, he was relieved to know that she would be nearer to him. He refused to send her on any errands. Each errand she went on meant another injury, another scar. He did not doubt that she was attracted to danger, and regardless of his marriage, he would do anything and everything to keep her safe. He didn't care if it meant assigning her Weapons or if it meant keeping her in a position similar to Laren's. If he had thought that he had come close to losing her before, he had come way too close to losing her now. And he knew that he couldn't bear to lose her ever. Sighing, he stood, descending the ladder. He readied his horse, and left the stables to enjoy a moonlit midnight ride.

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Fastion opened the door for the Rider, and she thanked him quietly, stepping into the sunlit study. At his desk sat King Zachary, frowning in concentration at some papers. As she stepped in, he lifted his head up from his work, his eyes lighting up at her presence.

"Sire," Karigan bowed. "My apologies for interrupting you."

"It is all right. Do you wish to speak to me about something?" His gaze fell to his longcoat draped over her arm.

"You left this in the stables by accident." She stated, her eyes looking at anything but him. She held it out to him as he stood from his chair. He walked over to her and took the coat from her, his eyes filled with sadness.

"It was no accident." He spoke softly. He wanted to close that inch between them so badly, but he knew that she would only run from him, and that it wasn't right. He wanted to curse at his marriage. Everything that he wanted to say to her, he couldn't because he was married. He couldn't hold her close to him because he was married. Even the right to talk to her freely was taken away by the marriage. He let his King's mask fall; let all his sadness, pain, and concern and love for her show.

"I need to go." She spoke quietly, bowing. She turned her back to him, and started to walk out of the room.

"Rider, wait." He spoke, and she stopped, her heart racing. Taking a breath, she turned around to face him. He didn't care if she ran, he thought to himself, as he closed the gap between them.

"Karigan, I'll still find a way." He whispered, looking into her eyes, before she turned and walked out of the room without another word, a stubborn expression on her face. She barely noticed the sympathetic look the Weapons cast her as she faded into the shadows, letting herself feel the pain once again.

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Laren watched as Karigan locked herself in her room once again. She had an idea of why she looked so hurt: Karigan had seen Zachary. Why, she didn't know, but she knew that it was hard for Karigan to have to face him, knowing that he was married to Estora. Sighing, she shook her head.

She hated to do this to the two of them. To work to destroy that little connection that they had. If the circumstances were different, and Karigan weren't a commoner, she knew that she would have supported them. But even though Karigan was one of Sacoridia's greatest heroes, she was still a commoner, and she could never marry King Zachary. The disaster that it would bring was unimaginable, and he could not break the marriage now, for the sake of the country. He had already stuck with the story, and it would not look good for him if he told the lord governors the truth.

She had hoped that getting Estora to show more affection towards him would help him to take his mind off Karigan. She had hoped that he would learn to love Estora, but with Karigan's mysterious disappearance and reappearance a few days later, she knew that he would not give up on her Rider. She knew it would be a favor to Karigan if she was to send her on an errand, but it was still too early to send her on any errands. No, that would have to wait. Until then, she would have to do everything in her power to keep the two from seeing each other.

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**So, while I was writing this, I had some difficulty b/c I was debating over what to do, and how Karigan was going to confront Zachary to give his coat back. I decided that I wouldn't be too hard on them, so I had a small moment between them. I hope that you all liked it :) I have this feeling that I'm not going to live up to all your expectations, but this is my way of staying patient until book 5, so finishing this story and making it good is the only thing I want out of this story :) I really hoped that you liked it and I'll try to make next chapter even better (once I find out where _that_ is going)**

**Oh, random thought: This chapter was inspired by Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne. That's what I was listening to when I first started this chapter, so... :) yeah, not that you wanted to know but I'll try and update soon again. (Warning: This might be a few days)**

**GreenCondor1**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so I didn't really like the last chapter. I was excited the day I finished it and then I started to hate it. It was so out of character. Anyways, some of you may recognize certain parts in this chapter :) Let's see who remembers :)**

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She sat at her table, her expression blank, as she worked with Rider accounts. It had been weeks since she had last spoken with King Zachary. She had tried as hard as she could to forget about him, but lately, it hadn't worked. But she was determined to move on. It wouldn't do well to break down now, when Second Empire was becoming more and more of a threat. She had pushed him aside in the past, and she would push him aside now.

Anyways, her own feelings were less important than the trouble at hand. She could not break down. She refused to break down. With the necromancer, Grandmother, still alive, she knew that she would give her most to defeating the Second Empire. She would never let that image in the white world of all her loved ones dead, including King Zachary. If she had to sacrifice herself to prevent it, she would gladly do it.

Pushing her chair away from the desk, she stood, placing her papers on one side of her desk in a neat pile. Yawning, she looked out the window. It had already grown dark, and it had been a while since she had eaten her last meal. Sighing, Karigan set off towards the kitchens.

Making her way back to her room, she heard a bell somewhere toll eleven hour. Running a hand through her hair, she quickened her pace. The day had been longer than she wanted it to be, and even with another Rider to help her, there was still too much work to do. Lately, sleep had not come easily to her. Her dreams were plagued with images of Mornhavon and second empire, memories of near-death experiences, and wars with herself over certain problems including the King of Sacoridia, and Yates' death. It had been a long time since she had gotten a good night's rest, and she hoped that this would be the first.

As she was about to turn a corner, a light from the corridor ahead distracted her from her thoughts. Confused, she lingered. It was late, and around now, hardly anyone should have been wandering around the corridors. She stepped into the shadows, her hand reaching for her brooch, waiting for the person to appear, but she realized that instead of moving towards her, the light was moving away from her.

As the light started to fade away, she made up her mind to go after the person and started running down the corridor towards whoever it was. She let down her invisibility. As much as Karigan wanted to go to sleep, if someone suspicious was in the castle, she couldn't stand by and let them do harm. Once she neared the light again, she slowed her pace, sticking to the shadows again.

The figure had turned down a series of corridors that she didn't recognize. She stepped lightly on the stone floor of the corridor, her eyes fixed on the light that glowed in the near distance. The dampness of the air caused her to shiver as she made her way forward. Not daring to call out, she quickened her pace, hoping to catch a glimpse of the figure that held the light. Each time, she was close enough to see who it was, they quickened their pace or turned another corner.

"I give you a warning, Galadheon." Karigan heard a voice call to her as she rounded a corner. Stopping in her tracks, she looked towards the light She could only see the outline of the figure as she cautiously took a step forward.

"Do not pursue the dark, or you will only meet your end." The person called hauntingly as they turned away and resumed walking. She contemplated what to do next. It was her duty to king and country to pursue this intruder. They were of the second empire she thought, for they had called her Galadheon and the dark could only mean Mornhavon. She would have to risk getting hurt.

The light had disappeared by now and the corridor was now in darkness except for a small glow from where she had come from. Putting it in the back of her mind, she used the wall for support, trying to find her way down the dark corridor. As she took a few steps forward, the floor suddenly slipped out from beneath her. She grasped for something to hold on to, but even as she gripped an edge of something, she was slipping. With a small cry, she realized that she was going to fall, and her hand slipped from the edge. She closed her eyes, waiting for the impact with whatever lay in the darkness beneath her.

Before she had even begun to fall, a pair of strong hands gripped hers, pulling her upwards. Another pair grabbed on, and she soon found solid ground to hold onto again. Hoisting herself up, she collapsed on the cold stone floor. Rolling on her back, she opened them to see a pair of almond-shaped eyes glancing down at her, full of concern and fear.

"Karigan, are you alright?" King Zachary asked urgently, kneeling beside her. Karigan opened her mouth to speak, but she noticed another figure behind him. They stepped into the light and she recognized Fastion. She turned her attention back to King Zachary, nodding. Sighing in relief, he stood, holding his hand out to her to help her out. After hesitating for a moment, she gripped it, and rose to her feet, ignoring the throbbing in her ankle.

"There's someone that shouldn't be here. Most likely Second Empire. They called me Galadheon, and the only other people that I know would call me that are the Eletians. I don't think that it was an Eletian." Karigan spoke. Before either of them could open their mouths to say anything, she added, "That was who I was following before I fell."

Fastion nodded, walking over to the gap in the floor. He shone his light down, and then turned back to Karigan.

"It is a long way down." He stated, frowning. "Honestly, Rider, you really should try and stay out of danger. "

"I know Fastion. Thank you. "Turning to King Zachary, she forced herself to meet his gaze which was filled with concern. Biting her lip, she bowed. "Thank you, your majesty."

He nodded. He had so many questions to ask her, but he knew that they would have to wait. He took in her appearance. She looked exhausted, and he wasn't surprised. From what he had heard from Captain Mapstone, Karigan had been working herself hard since she had returned from Blackveil. With this added to a hard day, he decided that he would let her rest.

"Do you know your way back to Rider's Quarters?" She shook her head, breaking eye contact as he stepped closer to her, taking her hand in his. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

Karigan shook her head. Her hurting ankle came to mind but she dismissed it, pulling her hand away. It would only make him worry even more, and the last thing she needed was for him to make this chance meeting worse. It was best that she get to her room as quickly as possible. She feared that the longer she stayed alone with him and a Weapon who most likely knew about their mutual feelings for each other, the more she feared that she would reveal her true feelings for King Zachary.

He lingered by her side as Fastion moved to the front, leading the way. He gazed at her expectantly, waiting for her to follow. Karigan put her uninjured foot forward, and began to lift her other foot when the dull pain in her ankle turned into a blinding pain. She cried out as she saw stars in the air, and everything around her faded to black. As she fell towards the ground, Karigan heard a voice call her name, and then all fell silent.

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**So, did you like it? I took part of this chapter from my second story for GR that I deleted after a while. I changed it a bit, but it is mostly the same. I was going to use this later in the story, but I decided that I would rather use this now. **

**Please review and tell me how it is! **

**GreenCondor1**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry that it took me so long to update. I've been busy lately, and the last few weeks have been pretty bad for me :( That + the usual dose of writer's block = no update. This chapter is not too long, but I hope that you really like it. **

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He shouldn't have warned the Galadheon.

He should have let her fall to her death, and then maybe, she wouldn't be such a nuisance to his people. But his god, Mornhavon, had wanted her alive. Why, he did not know. The Galadheon was descended from the man who betrayed Mornhavon, and she deserved to die. Well, at least he had warned her.

Whether she listened to him, he did not know. He had left her far behind as he withdrew to the abandoned corridors of the castle. His people risked being found in the castle, but it was a risk that they were glad to take. As much as it had hurt their pride, they covered up their marked hands, so that they could obtain information about King Zachary's plans against the Second Empire without being caught. It would have been much easier if they had still had Weldon Spurlock, but he was dead, and there was nothing that they could do. Turning the final corner, he placed his hand on a rusty doorknob, and twisted it. He pushed the door open with his shoulder and stepped into the darkness.

* * *

Warmth spread through her, from her hand to the rest of her body. Sighing, she opened her eyes. Brushing her hair away from her face with her other hand, she turned her head to her side. Her eyes met the almond-shaped brown eyes that she knew only too well. Stricken, she couldn't say anything. He smiled, and she could feel her face flame. Looking away quickly, she let her gaze travel down to her hand, which was intertwined with his. She pulled it away quickly, wishing that she could hide underneath her covers.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked softly. She nodded, not trusting her voice. She sat up on the bed, looking out a window to her left. The sun was just beginning to rise, painting the sky in light yellow, blues, and pinks. Memories of the night before flooded back to her, and she realized that there was no pain in her ankle.

"I asked the Ben to heal your ankle. It shouldn't hurt as much now." She nodded, biting her lip. Standing up from the chair by her bed, he walked to the door, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Feel better soon, Karigan, and please, whatever you do, don't injure yourself again."

"I-I won't." She all but whispered. He stood there, gazing at her for a moment, and then left. Closing her eyes, Karigan wondered whether he was there by her side all night. Shaking her head, she dismissed the thought. He was married, she told herself. A bitter smile spread across her face. It always came down to that. He was married, and was lost to her forever. Sighing, she let herself drift off once again into a peaceful sleep. She would find answers to her questions later.

* * *

"No."

Anger flared within her as her mind registered the words. He was being irrational, she told herself. She needed to escape these walls now. Short rides with Condor weren't enough, and the need intensified with each passing day.

"Why?" She had already asked Captain Mapstone, and she had said yes. But the Captain had told her to ask him, and if he wasn't going to send her on any message errands…

"You are still healing." He started to walk away, thinking that the matter was settled.

"It has been over a week since my encounter with the man from the Second Empire and more than a month since I returned from Blackveil, Your Majesty. I am more than ready to resume my duties." He stopped in his tracks, turning around quickly. In two strides, he was in front of her again, his hand resting on the side of her face.

"I may be married, but my feelings for you haven't changed. Every time you go on an errand, no matter how simple, you always end up injured. I may be a King, but I will do whatever I can to protect you." He spoke in a low voice. "No matter what, you will never be alone. I will be with you through everything."

Karigan felt her feelings rise to the surface, and her mouth went dry. But the words never made it past her lips. Taking a breath to steady herself, she remembered who she was. She was common. Unworthy. She pulled away from him, shaking her head.

"You can't hope to protect me from everything." She spoke, her voice laced with anger. "For a Green Rider, time is always running out."

"Karigan-"

"No." She cut him off. "You don't understand. You're wasting your time on something that you know can never happen. One way or another, I am lost to you forever."

She bowed quickly and turned around. What she had come for no longer seemed significant. She quickly left his study, never seeing the look of pain on his face.

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**Did you like it?**

**I am really really worried that it is a horrible chapter. My sister tells me the opposite, but I think that she is just being nice to me.**

**Please review and let me know what you think. Whether you like it or not. **

**Thank you! **

**GreenCondor1**


	6. Chapter 6

**Finally, after a month, I have updated! ****I have been feeling like I haven't been expressing Karigan and Zachary's feelings well enough, so this chapter is exploring their feelings at this point, I guess. **

* * *

He resisted the urge to run after her and force her to stay, to talk with him. But he would never abuse his power like that, no matter how much he wanted her to stay. King Zachary sank into his chair, covering his eyes with a hand. He was married, to someone he didn't even love. He had made false promises, hoped foolishly, and now, this was the price he had to pay. Watching the one he loved push him away and endless pain. It was all his fault. The pain, the sadness, the hurt. He had caused it. He had allowed himself to fall for Karigan G'ladheon, and now, they were both hurting.

Maybe he should have been thankful that he didn't know the extent of Karigan's feelings for him. He knew that her feelings for him went beyond that of a Rider to her King, but he didn't know how far they went. But he had definitely hurt her when he married Estora, and he hated himself for it. He would never forgive himself for hurting her, even if he did find some way for the two of them to be together. He wanted to go back to the time before the marriage, when he was free to be who he wanted to be. When he could be there for her without her pushing him away. King Zachary uncovered his eyes to look out of the window, but not even the sun shining down on him could lift this weight from his heart. The anger in her eyes, her voice... all he wanted to do was protect her. Her anger was yet another price to pay.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to no one. He had failed Karigan, had failed his country as a King, and he had failed himself. He was tired of fighting his feelings. There had to be some way that he could get out of the marriage, and there had to be some way for him to be with Karigan without creating a civil war. It almost seemed impossible, this future that he longed for. But Karigan had defied the odds before, and surely he could too. But he had to know the extent of Karigan's feelings for him. He didn't want to force her into something that she didn't want, no matter how much he wanted this future for them. Sighing, he glanced at the piles of papers in front of him, waiting to be signed. He reached for them, praying to the gods that he would find a way to ease his restless heart.

* * *

Karigan dropped her facade upon entering the common room, realizing that there was no one there. Sighing, she sank down into a large armchair and gazed at some object across the room. But her mind was somewhere else, reliving memories. Amilton taking over, seeing Zachary almost die, his concern whenever she was hurt, seeing him dancing with Estora... why couldn't she let go? There had to be someone else, someone who could fill the void in her heart. But deep inside, she knew that she didn't want that. That even if she found someone else, they would never be capable of stirring the feelings that King Zachary... that Zachary did.

She was losing this battle with her heart. All she wanted to do was give in, and find relief from this pain. She wanted to believe that Fate would somehow bring them together in the end, but as much as she wanted that future, she was afraid of it. What price would she have to pay to have that happy ending? If she divided Sacoridia, there was no way that they could stand against Mornhavon. All her worldly problems were intertwined with each other. Especially King Zachary and Mornhavon. She could not allow herself to be weak. She had to stay strong, for her friends, her family, for King Zachary, and for Sacoridia. She would not allow Mornhavon to use her feelings against her, and she could not let Sacoridia fall.

Everyone saw her as some kind of hero, but inside, all she wanted to do was cry. Why did the Gods choose her to be the descendant of Hadriax el Fex? Why did she have to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders? Karigan buried her face in her hands, wishing that she could just wash it all away. The pain, the sadness, the fear, the burden, her love. She wanted to go back to the simple life of a merchant, leave all the hurt behind. Holding back a sigh, she stood, and walked to her room. It was too late to discard her feelings for King Zachary. She would have to bear the pain, like everything else. Curling up on her bed, she closed her eyes, remembering the warmth of his touch. She gazed into his comforting brown eyes, and his warmth filled her once again as she drifted off into peaceful sleep.

* * *

**I feel really horrible for not updating in a month :(**

**Thank you for your encouraging reviews, and for reading my story. It really helped me to get back into focus here. Every time I started, I stopped after a sentence or two, because I felt like it would be a complete failure. But I finally got this chapter finished, after a month's break. I will really try to update soon, and not leave you all for a month again, but its hard when I get writer's block. But still, writing ff's is the only way to keep me patient till book #5, so I have to get past it somehow :) I know that there is very little dialogue in this chapter, but I promise that there will be in the next. I just felt this chapter seemed better without too much dialogue. I hope it wasn't too repetitive!**

**Please Review! When I can't write, your reviews encourage me :) You are all awesome :)**

**GreenCondor1**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm back! Sorry for taking so long to update. I kind of got sidetracked by an awesome manga called Ghost Hunt, and I was trying to figure out what to do next. So, I am finally back, after the most awesome summer vacation ever!**

**Same disclaimer in the previous chapters apply to this one.**

* * *

"Kill point."

She glanced at the sword pointed at her in disgust. She had messed up. Had made a mistake. And that was unacceptable. Mornhavon wouldn't give her second or even third chances as Drent would, and neither would Second Empire members. She couldn't afford to make a mistake, not now. Karigan grasped Travis's outstretched hand and pulled herself up off the ground.

She watched intently as Travis showed her the sequence again, careful not to miss any details. Sighing softly, she made her way through the sequence again, being sure to keep her guard up. This time, she made no mistakes, and she finished satisfied.

She gazed up at the dark gray sky as she felt the first drops of rain fall. The clouds cloaked the castle grounds and the city in a shadow as it began to pour. Sighing, Karigan made her way back to her room, not before telling Travis to inform Drent that she was leaving. Closing her room door, she changed out of her uniform and into a fresh one. She walked into the corridor and headed for the common room.

_"Galadheon"_

The whisper pulled her from her thoughts, and she stopped and looked around, frantically searching for the owner of the voice. The corridor was empty, and she frowned, taking a cautious step forward. Still, silence filled the corridor. Shaking her head, Karigan put it off as her imagination and continued on her way.

_"Galadheon."_

This time, she knew that she had not imagined it. The words reverberated off the walls, and a cool breeze circled around her. She shivered, feeling uneasy, and started to walk faster towards the common room. There was something familiar about the voice, and she didn't want to know who the owner of the voice was. She had had enough of trouble for a lifetime.

Estora gazed at King Zachary out of the corner of her eyes and sighed. She could tell that he was hardly paying attention to the meeting. She turned her gaze back towards the advisors, feeling somewhat guilty. She had grown to love King Zachary, even though her first love lay dead, buried somewhere she would never know. She wondered what F'ryan would have thought of her now. If he had been alive, she wouldn't have fallen in love with Sacoridia's high king.

But Estora knew that if she had to choose between marrying King Zachary and F'ryan, she would have chosen F'ryan. She didn't care that the division of classes forbid the marriages between those of noble blood and those of common blood. F'ryan would always hold first place in her heart. She felt even more guilty admitting that. It was like she was _using_ King Zachary, as a replacement for F'ryan. Her eyes narrowed at the thought, and she quickly pushed it away. No, she truly loved Zachary. He was _not_ a replacement.

Yet as the meeting dragged on, and the advisors babbled about things that she didn't care to hear about, the thought bothered her. When had she started to love him? It certainly wasn't when he retook the throne from Amilton. It had been too close to F'ryan's death, and there was no way she could fall in love soon after her first love died. Maybe it was during the summer when the weird events started to happen in Sacoridia, but she had hardly seen King Zachary that summer. It couldn't have been when she was kidnapped either.

She figured that she started to love Zachary since the day he was barely clinging to life, the day Karigan entered Blackveil. There had been too many deaths around her lately, the death of her F'ryan, her father, and Zachary's death would have just added on to the list. Not to mention the guilt. He had protected her and nearly died in the process. She just didn't want someone else she cared about to die.

But did that mean she truly loved him? Could it be that he was merely a replacement for the one love that she lost? Just because she cared about Zachary, it didn't mean that she loved him. She had known love, and she didn't get the same feeling she got with F'ryan when she was with Zachary. Her heart didn't ache when he wasn't near, and when he smiled, it didn't make her heart melt. Did she truly love Zachary or did she just care about him as a friend? Sighing softly, she pushed her thoughts aside and focused on the meeting. She would answer the question later.

Hours passed, and soon, Estora found that she wasn't really paying attention to the meeting either. When the advisors finally called the meeting to an end, she was ready to jump out of her seat and rush out the door. But she stayed in her seat until everyone but the Weapons and King Zachary had left. When the last of them had left, she turned to Zachary.

"You seem out of it." She commented, observing his face for a reaction. He shook his head and stood up.

"It's nothing, I've just had a few things on my mind lately."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She offered, even though she knew that Karigan was the subject of his thoughts.

"It's alright. It's nothing to concern yourself with." He responded, walking to the window. He swept the grounds, searching for Karigan, but he couldn't see her. Sighing, he walked back to the meeting table.

"You're in love with her." Zachary's looked at Estora sharply, and even through his King's mask, she could see that he was shocked. "You're in love with Karigan."

* * *

**How was it? I would be very grateful if you would review and tell me what you think! Thanks to all those who reviewed my story!**

**GreenCondor1**


	8. Chapter 8

**New Chapter!  
I really apologize for always taking so long to update. I've been busy lately with schoolwork, and I haven't had as much time as I would have liked to work on my stories. I know that this is short, and I apologize for that too. I really will try to update as soon as possible, so please bear with me. I sort of have an idea of where I am going next, so hopefully I will have another update soon.**

**Anyways, on with the story!  
The same disclaimers in the previous chapters apply to this one: I don't own the characters! They belong to the wonderful author of this extremely wonderful series, Kristen Britain. **

* * *

"I…" For the first time in a while, King Zachary was at a loss for words. He didn't know how to respond to this. Should he deny it? Should he admit that he was in love with Karigan? If he denied that he was in love with her, Estora would definitely know that he was lying. Would she be angry? Either way, he figured that she would be angry.

"It's okay. I understand." Estora spoke softly, looking at her hands. How could she not? She had loved, and still loved F'ryan. In the same way, Zachary loved Karigan, and she was sure that he always would.

"I'm sorry." Zachary gave Estora a sad smile. "I didn't mean to lie to you, even when you told me the truth."

"I know. And I understand why. And I'm sorry that I agreed to this marriage." She replied. "I'm tearing two people that I care about apart."

Silence filled the air. Estora sat, her eyes fixed on her hands and Zachary stood, gazing at the window. Inside, Estora felt like she was falling apart. Without him, she would be alone again. Either way, she was just a possession in the court, and she needed to change. Looking up, she looked Zachary in the eyes, her own filled with determination.

"I don't want to be just a pawn in the kingdom. I serve no justice to the title that I have now, and I know that Sacoridia needs someone stronger to help defeat Mornhavon, and only one person I know of can do that. I'm sorry, but I don't think that I really love you, and I'd rather live the rest of my life with someone that I really do love. I'm sorry if I used you as a replacement for Rider Coblebay. I didn't mean to. It's just that I've lost so many people already… somehow, I convinced myself that I love you." Estora stood, smiling softly. "I think that if we can get out of this marriage, I will go back to Coutre and do what _I_ want, not what everyone else wants me to do."

King Zachary nodded, smiling as well. Finally, it seemed that there would be a chance again that his dreams could come true. He didn't mean to throw Estora aside like an insignificant object, but he loved Karigan more than anything else in the world, and he couldn't give up on her just yet.

"It takes courage to do something like this, and I admire you for it." He looked at her, and stepped closer, laying a hand on her shoulder. "If you ever need a friend, I am always here for you."

She nodded, before standing up. She turned around and walked out of the room, leaving him standing, his gaze fixed on the world outside the window. There would be a chance at happiness for both of them. He was sure of it. He would definitely find a way out of this, now that he knew nothing could hold him back. With a sigh, he wore his King's mask again and walked out of the room.

* * *

Laren groaned, eyeing the stack of papers in front of her with hatred. She was _not_ a historian, but they had still dumped on her these journal entries and accounts of events that happened during the Long War. _"Your riders will be in the thick of this mess, so I suggest that you read over these documents for valuable information."_ One of the advisors had told her. He didn't suggest. It was more like he forced her to take this task, and even worse, Zachary agreed. Tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear, she reached for the paper that was on the very top of the pile.

Hours passed, and the moon was already shining brightly onto the castle grounds. Her eyes were tired and she slumped in her chair, putting down the paper on her desk. The city bell tolled the eleventh hour and she sighed, reaching for yet another document. _Journal of Hadriax el Fex_. Frowning, she tried to recall where she had heard that name before. Suddenly, it hit her. She had seen some manuscript with Karigan once before, back during that crazy summer where the breach in the wall had caused odd occurrences throughout Sacoridia. She had gotten a glimpse of the title, and it was the same one as this. Laren frowned, wondering how Karigan had gotten this before they did. It must have been translated by the archivists at Selium long before. Deciding not to dwell on it, she started to read.

Out of all the documents that she had read, this one seemed the most interesting. She had already known that el Fex had been Mornhavon's closest friend, but her knowledge of his life was limited. She had to admit that she was slightly bothered that Karigan didn't show her the manuscript. Something like this would not have escaped Karigan's mind; Karigan had wanted to keep something from her, and it made her even more interested in the papers she was holding in her hands. Despite her weariness, despite the fact that it was extremely late and that she had meetings early in the morning, Laren read on.

* * *

**I want to know how Laren will react when she finds out... well you know what she'll find out... right? Well, if you do, then good for you! If you don't, then I guess you will have to wait to find out! **

**Please review! Many thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers! It makes me really happy to hear that you like my story! If I completely mess something up, don't hesitate to tell me, because I really want to make this story something I can look back on and be proud of!**

**Green Condor 1**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yay! I updated again! I'm so happy I didn't have to wait weeks to write and post this! This has been my quickest update since... since march or april or something. :D Okay, enough of me talking. **

**I don't own Green Rider or the characters from Green Rider. Kristen Britain does, so please give her the credit she deserves.**

**Onto the story!**

* * *

She couldn't fall asleep.

Insomnia, Ben had told her, could be the result of a stressful event. Or it could be the result of many stressful events. She laughed bitterly to herself, counting off the amount of stressful things she had to deal with recently. Her father and his past, King Zachary, Mornhavon, Blackveil, the Eletians, Estora, deaths of Riders, Estral and Alton, the Sleepers, groundmites, that grandmother, Second Empire, arrows, mirrors, masks… she could stay up all night counting the reasons as to why she wasn't able to fall asleep. Pushing herself up with her arms, Karigan swung her legs over the side of the bed and slipped on her shoes. Grabbing her coat from the peg on the wall, she quietly slipped out the door and started walking.

It had only been a couple of days, but it seemed like weeks since she had talked with King Zachary. The last time she had seen him, they had argued, and she couldn't bear to face him now. She felt like everything was her fault. The pain in his eyes, that look on his face… why did she feel so guilty? For so long, she had blamed everything on him… their situation, her realization of her love. Now, she felt like it was her fault for all that had happened. If she just had the strength to let go of her feelings, then maybe, just maybe she wouldn't be hurting both of them. How long did he expect to wait for her? How long did she expect him to wait for her?

She stopped walking, mortified. She _wanted_ him to wait for her. A deep blush colored her cheeks and she shook her head. No, this was wrong. He shouldn't be waiting for her. He was married. Married. She repeated this to herself, trying to make herself believe it, but it seemed to have no effect on her. His touch, his smile, his eyes… she covered her face with her hands, embarrassed. Five Hells. _She was_ _in love_ _with the King of Sacoridia_.

The realization hit her like a stone wall. She had known it before, understood it before, but now, it seemed so real. How had she fallen so deeply for him? She wanted to scream, cry, hit something… she needed to find some way to release her emotions. For so long, she had felt like she loved him, but now, the feeling was so deep, and it felt like she was past the point of no return. Removing her hands from her face, she looked back, half expecting him to magically appear in the corridor. He turned up at all the unexpected moments that she wasn't sure if their meetings were even coincidences any more. She couldn't face him now; she wasn't sure if she could ever face him again.

Turning back, Karigan hurried back to her room. She slipped under the covers and pulled them up to her face. She didn't want to discover anything else, not this night. Closing her eyes, she tried to force herself to fall asleep, even if it meant hours and hours of counting horses. At least, she wouldn't be thinking about him anymore.

* * *

This was dangerous. Too dangerous for his liking. They were within the castle once again, even after so many members had been rooted out by the King and his forces. How had they agreed to this? Shaking his head, he stared at the other members, dumbfounded. They were taking off their gloves, the ones that were supposed to be used to cover the symbol of the Second Empire. Were they crazy?

"Calm down, Dai." A voice hissed in his ears, and he frowned down at his younger sibling. Surely she didn't buy this pathetic excuse for a hideout too. Were they all not aware of the danger that the Empire was in? Meeting in abandoned corridors was too risky. They would all be killed, he knew it. A Weapon would come along, patrolling the corridors, and would hear them and find them. Or a greenie would come. He groaned silently, wondering why he had even agreed to stay in Sacor City with the rest of these fools. He should have just gone somewhere else, joined another sect, or maybe not even joined at all.

"I said to stop looking at them like that. You're making us look bad." He sighed, and tried to relax his body in the chair. His sister had that devious look in her eyes, and it made him even more uncomfortable than he already was. So she had fallen under their influence too. He didn't know why they were part of this anyways. When his parents had been captured and killed, he had run away with his sister to whatever was left of the sect within Sacor City. Why he sought refuge there, he didn't know. If anything, his parent's deaths should have been a warning to him to stay away from the Second Empire. Instead, he was here, fighting the battle of his ancestors, a battle that did not seem to matter to him anymore. It was their battle, and they had lost. Why did he have to fight it now?

_You don't_, a voice inside of him spoke quietly, and he resisted the urge to laugh. Of course he didn't have to; he had chosen to after his parent's died, and this was the result. It was too late to break away. There was nowhere for him to run. The King would kill him for his treachery, and the Empire would kill him to keep him from revealing their secrets. Either way, he couldn't leave without his sister, and she was already so attached to the Empire.

"Ahem." A voice came from the head of the table. Dai looked up into the eyes of the new head of the Sacor city sect, Gwerryn. He was tall, emotionless, and had cold green eyes. He intimidated Dai, and the man seemed to take pleasure in knowing that. Dai leaned back into his chair even further as the man sent a glance his way. He could sense his sister's disapproving glare on him, but brushed it off and focused on the meeting. "As you can tell, we have once again decided to meet within the castle. By being here, we understand the dangers involved in our tasks. If you want to leave, the door is right there."

He pointed to the door, and turned his hawk-like eyes back onto Dai, almost as if threatening him to walk out. He knew that the second youngest member wanted to leave, but the boy was smart enough to understand that if he left, he would die. Gwerryn felt a little bit of disappointment, but there were others to torture.

"I hope that you all are also aware that King Zachary lives. That old man, whoever he was, almost eliminated a threat to us, but it was not so. While it is a pity that he did not succeed, killing this wretched King is not our main task. We must obtain the translations of the book!" He slammed his hand down on the table, making a few of the members flinch. They could sense his anger, could feel it fill the room. His glare was fixed on everyone, not just Dai.

"I received word of certain plans." Gwerryn spoke quietly, his voice cold. "The King is going to destroy those translations soon, and we have no time to translate another. We must get them as soon as possible or else we will surely fail in our duty to our Lord."

Several people nodded in agreement. Dai turned to his sister and saw her grinning at Gwerryn with that crazed look in her eyes once again. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep the panic from rising. What had he done?

* * *

**Ooh, Second Empire has reappeared (Did you think I forgot about those insignificant little guys from before?). Well, I'm excited about the direction of this story. So much angst and romance, I thought that I'd bring back the evil.**

**So please, if you would do me a favor and click that review button at the bottom of the page! I was a bit disappointed that I only got two reviews from my last update, but hey, it has only been a few days. But its okay, I'm happy with what I've got. But I still would appreciate reviews!**

**I'll try to update soon, but don't blame me if it takes a while again. I, unfortunately, have school, and as a result, I have tests, quizzes, and lots and lots of homework. I guess that's what h.s. is all about.**

**GreenCondor1**


	10. Chapter 10

**Another chapter!**

**Same disclaimer in previous chapters apply to this one. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Laren sighed in frustration as she read over the last line of the journal once again. She knew that Karigan had a complicated life and that she was entitled to her own secrets, but this? This should not have been kept a secret. She was still having a hard time believing it. Karigan was descended from Hadriax el Fex. The man who had been best friends with a twisted and evil Mornhavon. The man who had betrayed that same best friend and aided Lil and her riders. Karigan was descended from a murderer. It didn't bother her as much as she thought it would, but Laren still wasn't completely okay with it. Not only was Karigan hated by the Second Empire, but this connection made her a target for Mornhavon. Now, Laren knew why Mornhavon had singled Karigan out as the major threat to his success.

Pushing her chair back from the desk, Laren set the manuscript down and stood. Massaging the aches in her neck with her hand, she started for her quarters. The castle was eerily silent, and Laren could hear each of her footsteps echo clearly through the hallways. Laren cast her eyes to the ground and blocked out the noise, her thoughts focused on the new found information once again. Why had Karigan not told her about this? Did her Rider not think that it was important? Or maybe it was fear. Laren couldn't resist smiling at the thought. Surely Karigan wouldn't fear Zachary's reaction to this. She knew that Zachary would not think even one bad thought about his favorite Rider. She would have to confront Karigan about this sooner or later, and she would have to tell Zachary too. Laren was not looking forward to his reaction. Knowing Zachary, he would keep Karigan inside the castle for longer, just to keep her away from Mornhavon, and there were still not enough Riders already. Finally arriving at her chambers, Laren let her thoughts trail off and she slipped into bed, not even bothering to change out of her uniform. She fell asleep within minutes.

* * *

The dead life of Blackveil gazed at her, shadows moving in the dark. The air around her was cold, but it did not affect her. She stood, her brown hair clinging to the side of her face, and remained silent, feeling the dark aura in the air. He was back.

He was nowhere, but he was everywhere. She could sense him watching her, but she didn't make one step further into the treacherous, tainted forest. She didn't know why, but she had a feeling that if she moved, something would happen. Anyways, it would only bring her closer to him, wherever he was, and she was not willing to be any nearer to him than she had to.

"You should have joined me." He whispered hoarsely, his voice coming from the darkness. It surrounded her, and she resisted the urge to run away. She would not give into the fear. He wanted her to fear him, as if that would help him scare her into joining his cause.

"I would have been better off dead." She responded, venom in her voice. How could he expect her to join him after all he did? It was his fault that they were all dead. It was his fault that so many had been killed by his evil. He had taken away so many people close to her, and he expected her to join him? She tensed as he let out a sharp laugh that came out as a strangled cry.

"You have nothing left to lose, Galadheon." A breeze swirled around her, almost as if taunting her to argue with him.

"I have everything to lose, Mornhavon."

"Are you so sure?" Suddenly, a force pushed her backwards, and she felt her body collide with the ground. Black clouded her vision, and it slowly transformed into the stone walls of the castle. Karigan stood up confused. Hadn't she just been in Blackveil? Her attention turned to the door as it opened, revealing two people. Her heart wrenched when she recognized who they were. Zachary and Estora. They didn't notice her… they looked right through her as they laughed softly with each other. Estora was saying something, and Zachary smiled that heart-breaking smile. Suddenly, he leaned down to kiss Estora.

Karigan drew in a breath and held it, her eyes wide in shock. She could feel tears forming in her eyes as she watched him. She wanted to cry out, to turn away, to run, but she was rooted to the spot. She could faintly hear Mornhavon's cruel laughter behind her, and closed her eyes. She could hear Zachary's whispers of undying love for Estora, and willed it all away. This was not real. It was just an illusion. She tried to convince herself that he loved _her, not Estora. Hadn't he told her that? Hadn't he stayed by her side when she was hurt? Hadn't he tried to protect her? She would not lose faith in him, not now._

"Liar" She whispered harshly, breaking the illusion. The darkness of Blackveil surrounded her once again. She turned angrily towards Mornhavon. "You are a liar, Alessandros. Your weak illusions will not work on me."

He laughed again. "I do not lie. You have nothing left to lose. Your lover is married to a woman more beautiful than you. Your father thinks that you are cursed. You are a descendant from a betrayer, a murderer. Your "family" is slowly being killed one by one. What do you have left?"

"I have my country to fight for. I have my beliefs to fight for. I will not join you, no matter what you say!" Her voice was filled with anger, and her words were met with silence. She smiled triumphantly.

After a few moments, he spoke again, his voice cold. "Fine. You have chosen your path Galadheon. I will no longer hold back, and later, you will come to regret your decision. Consider this your final warning. Do not attempt to stop me, or you will suffer the consequences. "

* * *

The pounding in her head woke her up from her restless sleep, and Karigan immediately put a hand to her head. The headaches she had from her brooch hadn't been this bad, not counting her first time traveling experience. And this hadn't even resulted from the use of her brooch. It had been a dream, a very realistic dream. At least, she hoped it was a dream. She really didn't fancy meeting Mornhavon in her dreams, let alone in reality. She turned her head towards the window, but there was no hint of sunlight. So, it was still night time. Maybe early morning, just before the dawn.

The pounding intensified and Karigan decided to get up for the second time that night. As much as she didn't want to get up, she figured that Ben would have something to soothe her headache. He would be up by now, she knew, so she grabbed her shawl and walked to the door. With each step she took, her headache intensified and she grimaced, gripping the door frame. Snoring could be heard from some of the other rooms, namely Garth's room. Rubbing her eyes with one hand, Karigan fought sleep and started to make her way towards the mending wing.

She was grateful for the silence in the air. If it had been some time during the day, and there had been a crowd of people as there normally was, she was sure that her head would have exploded by now. But the silence also made her feel lonely. No one was really up at this hour except for healers and Weapons; everyone else would sleep at least until dawn. So for now, she was alone. Karigan smiled bitterly as she remembered how she had felt before she had left for Blackveil. Zachary had Estora, Alton had Estral, Dale had Captain Wallace, Trace had Connly, and Karigan? She had no one. Even Yates, before he… before he died, had someone that he could be with. Maybe Mornhavon was right, she had nothing left to lose, but it didn't mean that she would give up. She knew what was right and what was wrong, and she would not join him. Anyways, he…

"Karigan?"

Her name was said so softly that she hardly heard it. Frowning, and wincing at the result of the action, Karigan lifted her head up to meet almond-shaped, brown eyes once again. She froze, her body rigid as she stared at him. Questions ran through her head, and she resisted the urge to run. Why was he here? Why was he up? She dimly recalled her thoughts from her first walk when she couldn't get to sleep, and the need to run intensified. She didn't want to face Zachary, not now. Not after realizing that she truly loved him.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" He asked softly. She mumbled something incoherent, avoiding his gaze. He frowned, suspicious. What was she keeping from him? She clearly didn't look alright. The only word he had managed to understand from her answer was headache. But he had a feeling that there was something more. She wasn't telling him something, and he wanted to know what it was.

"If you don't need me, Sire, I need to go see Ben."Karigan spoke a little louder this time, but still quietly. When she received no response from him, she started to walk past him. Her eyes were cast to the ground and her head was slightly turned away from him. He could see dried tear marks in the corners of her eyes, a clear indication that something was wrong.

"Karigan, wait." He grasped her hand in his and gently pulled her towards him. He tilted her face towards his and looked her in the eyes. "Are you alright? Did something happen? You don't look well."

"It's just my headache. Nothing more." She smiled, trying to convince him, but she knew that he could see right through it. She flinched under his demanding gaze and tried to pull away from him, but he still held her hand firmly.

"I know that something is wrong. Please, Karigan, just tell me. Don't lie to me and tell me that you're alright. I know that something happened." He spoke softly, and she sighed. Why did he have to be so concerned about her? She could take care of herself. She didn't need him to comfort her after a nightmare. All she wanted to do was go and see Ben to get something to soothe her headache. Instead, she was stuck here with her King, who wouldn't let her walk away from him again. A part of her was telling her to just give into his demands and tell him that Mornhavon reappeared in her nightmare. But she knew that he would worry about her if she told him. The pounding in her head was intensifying again and in an effort to not waste time, she finally decided.

"I just dreamt of Mornhavon and Blackveil." Karigan could see his concern for her in his eyes and sighed. She wanted to scream at him to let her go. She did what he wanted, she gave him an answer. "Please, I need to go see Ben now."

He nodded absently and released her hand. As Karigan walked away, she could feel his gaze on her back and involuntarily shivered. She passed a couple of Weapons and nodded slightly towards them, and turned a corner.

_"Galadheon"_

Karigan let out a small cry as she fell to the ground. Her head felt like it would burst and the silence was now deafening. Her vision was blurred and she could faintly hear concerned voices surround her. They were calling her name and she covered her ears. Her nightmare wasn't just a dream, was it? She had really seen Mornhavon, and his voice repeating her clan name was only making her headache worse.

"Make it stop." She whispered to the people that surrounded her. Tears threatened to fall. They couldn't hear him. Mornhavon. Why was it always her? Why did she have to always be Mornhavon's victim? Cruel laughter filled the air, and suddenly it all stopped.

The voices no longer called her name and Karigan sat up, her hand to her head once again. She could make out the shapes of three figures, and as her vision cleared up, Donal, Fastion, and King Zachary were standing in front of her. Embarrassed, a blush colored her cheeks, and she grasped Fastion's hand quickly and stood up.

"Let's get you to the hospital wing." Zachary spoke gently, and he held her arm, supporting her.

"I- I can walk by myself." She whispered, as Fastion stepped in to support her as well. They were all looking at her like she was crazy, and all she wanted to do was hide. She hated being so weak in front of them. What did they think of her? They couldn't hear Mornhavon; all they probably saw was a hallucinating Rider, not even worthy of being a swords master.

"Karigan, we understand that you don't like to rely on others, but just let us help you." Fastion looked down at her and smiled. She smiled slightly and gave in to them. She felt tired and drained of energy, and she wasn't so sure that she could make it to the hospital wing on her own anymore. Maybe once she was there, Ben would let her have a quick nap there before she had to get to work. Avoiding Zachary's concerned glances, she kept her eyes on the corridor ahead, determined to at least not give in to her feelings that night.

* * *

**How was it?**

**I hope that my readers still like my story! I've been experimenting with new characters and what not, but don't worry! This is still KZ centered! (Which stories of mine aren't?) Please review! It will make me really happy if you do! Thank you!**

**GreenCondor1**

*** IT'S SNOWING HERE! (Of course, the northeast would get snow in October :P) Yay!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Back again! :D **

**Same disclaimer in the previous chapters apply to this one!**

* * *

His breaths were ragged, and his body was covered in sweat. He shook uncontrollably on the bed, and he thrashed around, hitting anything and everything that surrounded him. Scratches and cuts began to appear on his arms and legs, but he was oblivious to the pain, still caught in the nightmare and the fear that had consumed him.

_"__My __boy, __you __were __born __to __die._" _He __was __looking __into __his __father__'__s __dark __green __eyes, __his __own __wide __with __terror.__The __other __man__'__s __mouth __curved __upwards, __as __if __he __was __smiling,__but __the __malicious __look __in __his __eyes __twisted __the __smile __into __something __else, __something __sinister._

_"N-no. I-d-don't want t-to d-die." The boy stuttered, taking a step back. His father's gaze was directed downwards, and the boy looked down, a soundless scream erupting from his open mouth. He was falling towards the ground, stuck in a never ending fall. The face of his father fell away, but he could still hear the voices. His mother, sister, father, grandmother…_

_"__Come __to __me.__"_ _A __powerful __voice __called. __A __face __appeared __in __the __blackness __below __him. __He __gazed __upon __the __face __of __one __of __the __true __Gods, __one __of __the __Gods __that __had __existed __before __his __own __had __come __to __exist._ _"__Come __to __me, __restless __soul. __Have __no __fear.__"_

_He could not close his eyes, could not stop the endless fall…he did not want to go towards the figure. Something evil lay within it, something cruel, twisted and dark. It was a liar, a deceiver. He did not want to fall. Even as he began to realize this, the image of the God twisted itself into the face of his own God. Alessandros Mornhavon stood beneath him, but his presence did not give the boy any comfort. He wanted to reach for the light above him, but he was falling towards Mornhavon. The boy closed his eyes, and let his tears leak from his eyes. He was going to rot in the hell that his God had created for him. He was a non-believer, unfaithful, and a traitor. He did not want to accept his fate that was nearing with each second._

_Hoofbeats pounded in his ears, and suddenly, he was no longer falling. Fear still rushed through every part of his body, but he was forced to open his eyes. He was sitting upon a magnificent steed, that could only be Salvistar, and was rising. They passed the figures of his ancestors, his relatives, his family… they were rising away from the darkness and towards the light up above._

_"Have I died?" He asked Salvistar, but as expected, he received no answer. He glanced sorrowfully at all that was around him. If this was what death was like, he did not want to ever have to die a second time. Closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around Salvistar and let himself slip away, the light the last thing he saw before he became unconscious._

A scream bounced off the stone walls and filled the room, startling Dai awake. He stared dumbly at the ceiling above him for a few moments before realizing that the scream was his own. He closed his mouth and took in his surroundings. The stone walls that were once comforting were now anything but calming. He scrambled to get out of bed and eyed his surroundings nervously. He could feel his heart pounding, and could hear his breaths loud and clear. Finding no one and nothing in his room, he breathed a sigh of relief and sank to his knees.

His dream terrified him. He was unused to nightmares, as he hadn't had one since his parent's had died. He was puzzled, and wondered why he was dreaming like this now. His parents? Mornhavon? Salvistar? What did it all mean? He knew that it wasn't real… his parents were dead. It must have been the stress of the Second Empire meeting that caused his nightmare, he decided, not wanting to dwell on it for too long. He didn't want to know what his dream meant. Something told him that he would make a wrong move and face the wrath of the Second Empire if he did.

* * *

His eyes bored into hers and she unconsciously pressed herself back further into the chair. She knew what he wanted, and she really did not want to tell him. Hours had passed since their little encounter in the corridors in the early morning, and Karigan had gotten enough sleep to let her function properly for the rest of the day. Of course, she knew that he wouldn't let that incident there slide. She had hoped that he would, but knowing him, she was sure that he wouldn't.

Now, she was in his study, being subjected to his questions. Even though she had expected this, he still made her nervous. There was an intense look in his eyes that she had seen once before, when she had returned from Blackveil. When he looked at her that way, she felt very unsettled, and all she wanted to do was hide. Karigan could feel her face heating up and looked away before he could notice. They remained in silence for minutes, each waiting for the other to speak. Finally, Zachary decided to speak.

"What happened?" He asked quietly. She looked at her hands that were folded in her lap and wished that she could disappear. Why was it always her misfortune that he was there when she was injured? She wouldn't have minded if it were even a Weapon, patrolling the corridors or something like that, but she always injured herself in front of_him_. It always led to these uncomfortable questions. She feared that he would get caught up in his concern for her and do something without thinking. Looking up, Karigan kept her eyes an inch above his head, avoiding his gaze completely.

"I heard a voice. I…it must have been the lack sleep." The words rushed out of her mouth. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either. Yes, she had heard a voice, and yes, it could have been the lack of sleep getting to her. But she did not want to tell him that it was Mornhavon's voice that had affected her like that. He didn't need to know that.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. She had gone back to the old game they had played before the marriage. He would try to get her to let him in, she would push him out. He would chase after her, she would run away. All he wanted right now was for her to trust him, but even that was too much to ask for. She wouldn't let him inside, or let him help her. She wasn't lying to him, he knew, but she was not letting him understand the complete truth. There was something wrong, and it was affecting her. He didn't want to see her hurt.

"Karigan, please." He pleaded, his voice strained. He was tired of this. Tired of chasing after something so out of reach. Tired of playing this game, tired of everything… all he wanted to do was break down and cry, lead the life that he had so desperately wanted before he became a king, leave all the decisions to someone else. He didn't care if he had let down all his barriers now, if he was vulnerable to anyone and everyone. He didn't care if she would only hurt him again with her rejection. Glancing at her, he could see her shocked expression.

"Z-Zachary?" she whispered softly in shock, as she watched him fall apart in front of her. A part of her wanted to reach out towards him, and let herself be lost in his embrace. But her mind knew that it would only end in pain for both of them if she did. Still she found herself walking towards him, ignoring the voices warning her in her head. She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder.

"Please," he whispered, his voice shaking. "Please, don't…"

Her hand paused in midair, and she watched as a single tear fell from his eyes. Karigan was instantly filled with guilt. She knew that it was her fault that he was this way. She had never stopped once to think about how this might be affecting him. She loved him, and that was why she tried to move on. She never meant to hurt him…she had been so selfish, thinking only of her pain. She let her hand fall back to her side, and took a step back.

"I love you so much." He spoke quietly, his voice filled with passion.

"I know." She responded, her voice breaking.

"I'm not going to give up on you, Karigan." His face was set with determination, and she no longer saw the broken man she had seen a couple of minutes ago. He looked into her eyes and waited for her to respond.

"I know." She started to back towards the door and he let her, knowing that he would see her again soon. Right now, he needed to be alone, to think.

"I will find a way." Her hand gripped the doorknob so tightly that her knuckles turned white. He waited for her response, but she twisted open the door and fled, fearing what she might have said. Inside, a small voice taunted her with two, short words.

_"__I __know.__"_

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**I'm so glad that I've had the time lately to write this! :D This chapter, especially the last part makes me feel so happy! I wish that Blackveil could have had more KZ interaction. I mean, he barely spoke two sentences to her! (Well, maybe just a _little_ bit more, but still! Not enough!) But we all know that he still loves her, right? **

**So, if you would do me a favor and review! I don't bite, I promise! (Yeah, now you officially think that I'm crazy, right? :D )**

**GreenCondor1 **


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